My Chi Kung Development

[Geoff]

Dear everyone,

I wanted to write a post about my chi kung development in order to try and find some answers to some on going (health) problems and related chi kung experiences I have had. Although this is my first post on this forum, I regularly visit the forum and would gratefully welcome any advice, suggestions or comments from those who feel they could help….. apologies if this ends up being a bit long!

I have suffered from depression and a debilitating psychiatric illness called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) for years. I went through all the usual Western psychiatric treatment on offer with no effect. In desperately wanting to get better I found myself on one of Sifu’s regional chi kung courses. I can’t remember the exact course of events that led me to being on the chi kung course in Frankfurt in October 2002, but the experience proved to be one of the most amazing and memorable of my life. I remember truly smiling and feeling blissfully happy for the first time in ages. The improvements in my health directly after the course were unbelievable: my OCD symptoms vastly subsided, the depression disappeared and my life took on meaning and direction. Sifu said to me on the course that my life would be different from now on and he was right. Looking back on things my career path has completely changed and I am much more focussed and interested in whatever I do in life. Things just seem to make sense now and fit into place. My life has purpose. In addition to my chi kung practice I have started learning Tai Chi Chuan and am fortunate to have a true master to learn from. I am forever grateful for Sifu for what he has done for me and for putting me on the right path.

A few months after returning from the course in Frankfurt everything continued to go well. I had started to get extremely strong sensations in my right arm and hand and it felt like big blockages were being worked upon! The intensity of these sensations increased considerably which led me to write to the Shaolin Wahnam instructors (Question 8 April 2003) just to check that things were progressing in the right direction, as I just kept getting the overriding sensation of heaviness in my right arm during chi kung practice. Heeding their advice (thanks once again – I really appreciate their time in answering my concerns) I consequently concentrated on more ‘clearing’ exercises, omitting abdominal breathing and sinew metamorphosis from my practice.

From March to June this year I went to China to teach English and although I continued to practise chi kung daily, my development and continuing health improvements digressed somewhat. This was purely my own fault, although at times it was difficult to practise as I was sharing a room and living in a house with ten others(!!) in a busy compound.

After coming home in June I felt a fresh impetus to get back into the habit of practising regularly twice a day. I had noticed that at times of increased stress, my OCD symptoms would resurface and I would lapse into the occasional bouts of depression.

My health steadily picked up again. Nevertheless, come early September, something I read on this forum made be again look hard at my aims and objectives of my chi kung practice. It really dawned on me that despite my massive improvements in health, I was neither emotionally nor physically healthy and was hardly brimming with vitality –continually getting ill and feeling weak.

Again I set myself a three month aim: to practice a dynamic pattern in the morning (more often than not lifting the sky) and self manifested chi movement in the evening. I have done this religiously for 3 months now and although I continue to feel the benefits from my practice, I don’t feel closer to achieving a state of full health and eliminating my health problems.

I feel I have reached a sort of plateau health wise. There is no comparison in my health now with how ill I was before the course in Frankfurt, but nevertheless, I guess I am just frustrated that I still suffer from the health problems that have dogged my life for so long. Having had psychiatric problems for 14 years I realise my problems (blockages) must be extremely deep-rooted and I thus have to work hard and should not expect to be fully recovered by now. I feel this is so as I still continue to get massive blockage sensations in right arm, right hand and near my right lung -good pain!! At times it can be infuriating during practice though because it never seems to clear.

I think my chi practice tends to suffer from the fact that the years of emotional stress have resulted in physical pain. I often get a strong drawing sensation from the right hand side of the base of my spine, down my right leg and particularly around my right knee. This makes it hard to relax during chi kung practice, especially during standing meditation because my thoughts get preoccupied with the pain in these areas. The nature of my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder also makes it difficult to relax during practice. I would give a lot in order to be able to switch off and not think of anything. Sometimes my mind becomes full of the most non-sensical thoughts which although I know are a pile of crap seem beyond my control. This results in a stressful rational and irrational argument taking place in my mind – not very conducive to many chi kung aspects or entering a relaxed chi kung state of mind…

Sorry for winning the award for the most long winded post of 2003!! I realise I haven’t even asked a single question in all this but I would really welcome any comments. Thank you and I appreciate any help….

geoff

[Andrew]

Geoff - welcome to the forum as an active member.

Your post is long but very clear and concisely written - a sign of clarity of thought and clear direction ... not signs of depression or desperation. So all in all, congratulations in your obvious progress.

I'll try to address a couple of the points you made but will leave a few for my colleagues

.... although I continue to feel the benefits from my practice, I don’t feel closer to achieving a state of full health and eliminating my health problems.

How common this is .... you are far from being alone here. Maybe you should speak to someone you haven't seen since you began practicing but knew you quite well before. You will most likely be very surprised at their view of the "new you". It is really quite hard to judge your own progress ... a major issue for many (me included ). Others, however, who are not part of your regular life will see it and confirm it for you.

Progress is not normally sudden and in massive steps (although that can happen). More often it is a gentle slope upwards with a bit of an up and down on the way (if that makes sense).

I feel I have reached a sort of plateau health wise.

Again congratulations. This could well be the time of building in preparation for the next big step. Try to just enjoy your practice without looking for results - they will come for sure.

At times it can be infuriating during practice though because it never seems to clear.

Sorry if I smile here ..... this is so common. I think maybe even everyone hits this at least once.

I would give a lot in order to be able to switch off and not think of anything. Sometimes my mind becomes full of the most non-sensical thoughts which although I know are a pile of crap seem beyond my control. This results in a stressful rational and irrational argument taking place in my mind – not very conducive to many chi kung aspects or entering a relaxed chi kung state of mind…

Again so very very common. You might like to run a quick search in the forum. We had a thread a while back about the "monkey brain". Very helpful and I'm sure you'll find yourself looking at it and thinking .... "that's exactly what happens".

So as I mentioned above, congratulations on your excellent progress. I'm sure you will soon be posting to report your next big step!

Andrew

[Antonius]

Hey Geoff. Welcome.

Pictures are worth a thousand words, so I drew some. They are pretty sloppy, but I hope they get my point across.

We all have highs and lows. We had them before we learned qigong. We have them now that we practice qigong. A common problem with qigong development is that we tend to compare our current highs to our current lows, or to our highs and lows from a few months ago. Also, the relative distance between our current and recent highs and lows may stay the same, so we think we aren't making much progress.

This is where my picture comes in.

Figure 1 represents the average highs and lows of life before qigong. Everyone is different, and the range between high and low will vary. Of course, real life is also much messier than a picture, with erratic bumps and dips and plateaus at different times, but let's stick to averages.

The point of Fig. 1 is that, despite all the various highs and lows, the overall level stays roughly the same, as illustrated by the horizontal lines.

Figure 2 shows life after beginning qigong practice. Once again, I feel the need to emphasize that everyone is different, and that real life is much more erratic. I'm just trying to illustrate a point, so don't expect these graphs to be perfect.

In Fig. 2, the relative range between the highs and lows doesn't change much. Qigong doesn't gives us higher highs while leaving us with the same lows. Nor does it eliminate the lows. What it does is raise the overall level of both.

If you look at Fig. 2, you can see that, without the horizontal lines, it would be difficult to see any major progress, especially in the beginning. However, if you look carefully, you can see progress. The high in the 3rd bump is slightly higher than the high in the 1st one.

Now, if you continue even further (i.e., continue practicing for a few years), the evidence is even clearer, but only if you look with perspective. If you compare the high in the 8th bump to the one in the 6th bump, it will not seem like you are making much progress.

This is where we need perspective. Instead of comparing your current state (the 8th bump) to the 6th bump, compare it to the 1st bump. Now we begin to see something remarkable. If you extend the line from your first high, you will see that it is slightly lower than your current low (the end of the final curve). This means that your current worst is better than your previous best.

Now that's progress!

(Much thanks to the Dr. Lie for teaching me this one. )

[Andrew]

I love pictures .... thanks Anthony!

[Geoff]

Dear Antonius and Andrew!

Many thanks for your supportive posts which have given me a lot of encouragement. It’s nice to know that what I’ve been experiencing are very common stages of development.

What’s funny actually is that I’ve just met a Chinese friend who I haven’t seen for 6 months, and he’s just commented on how well I look and how well my life seems to be going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really agree that it is hard to judge your own progress on a day to day basis, but when you compare it over a few months, the improvements in health, well-being etc are so evident.

I feel happy though that my development and health improvements are definitely on the way up (just like figure 2!!!!)

Thanks again – geoff.

[Darryl]

Perfectly normal

Originally posted by Geoff
It’s nice to know that what I’ve been experiencing are very common stages of development.

One of my Kungfu students commented the other day that they find this sort of thing quite amusing. Another student will ask a question, describe an experience or wonder what on earth just happenned (usually after Chi flow) and the answer will be "It's perfectly normal, dont worry about it".

A few weeks ago, one of the students commented what while practicing a Kungfu set, he could feel his hands heating up. I replied "Very good, carry on" and then burst out laughing. It is almost becomming a personal mantra as I first heard it from Sifu, then from other instructors and now I say it to my students as well.

[Bernie Kissey]

Dear Geoff,

I am also a new student - thank you for posting your experience in such a clear and systematic manner, it was worth winning the longest single post! I have had very similar experiences, and during one "feeling of staticness" went on to experiment new forms resulting in severe blockages. It was only through the advises of our Shaolin Wahnam Instructors that have helped me regain confidence in my training. I wish to thank Antonius for the drawing. In the past 1 year since becoming a student, I had many challenges in my personal life, I am amazed that I have surfed through them when lesser hurdles just 2 years ago would have caused me to crumble. Also thank you Daryl for your comments. I remember asking Sifu many questions why I moved in a certain way or why I had this pain. Sifu would reply "Interesting isnt it? Carry on!".

Although at present I still have physical illness and emotional pain, I know that my training has definitely helped me and will eventually clear all my blockages.

Many thanks and Smile from the heart.

[AussieMark]

Progress slowly, Advance greatly!

Dear Adam,
Your post made me smile from my heart. Thankyou, we all share a common thread here. I too believed for a while I was having trouble, then just last week, I decided to meditate before my chi kung ... and lo and behold! I became aware of something I knew already. That the chi kung was woking all along, just under the "surface".


I have a long way to go, but now I can afford to wish people well from my heart.





God bless.