Fear and Frustration

[Mark Blohm]

I am starting this thread because I have been experiencing fear during Chi Kung practice. It is the worst at night, especially when I am at home alone. If the wind gusts outside, when the house settles and makes a cracking noise, I get scared. I have trouble keeping my eyes closed during chi flow. I've read and heard so much about sentient beings of various types exisiting all around but beyond our perception that i find it near impossible to relax thinking that something is watching me, or even worse, ready to jump out of the shadows and attack me. I think to myself during the daylight hours 'This fear is unreasonable. I'm sure i'll be fine tonight.' Alas, it still happens. This has made me frustrated on top of these feelings because I feel that it is adversely affecting my practice and progress.
Comments or suggestions?

[beggarsu]

It's probably just still clearing, as you learned high level qigong. It may sound mean of me to say "just clearing", but it happens. Fear and other mind ailments like depression can manifest just as any other "illnesses" during the clearing stages. It may seem odd that the clearing stages be so long, but that's really how much toxic waste and other rubbish people accumulate when they stray from spiritual practice for so long on the cosmic-soul-transmigrational scale.

[P. McSweeney]

Dear mblohm,

There is no better way to achieve piece of mind than to recite Bodhisattva Guan Yin's name or the name of Amitabha Buddha. Ask them to protect you and you will be fine.

paschal

[Racheli]

Dear mblohm,

I too wish to try and give a hand...

You call This sort of energy that moves in this specific way – 'fear' and strait away your mind starts to make up stories that will “explain” this feeling. It can result from something real in present, something in your past (maybe even when you where a fetus) etc. etc… each person can make up his own plot… Try to look at fear just as an energy that must go through your body in order to clear your energy paths (as beggarsu sais). It’s impossible to fight emotions (energy), we have to accept and let them in (= ok… I’ve got ‘fear’ in my life, I can feel/think/talk about it) and let them out peacefully (=goodbye fear we’ll meet again sometime). This process can happen a few times a day, as much as necessary.

I wish you all the best, hope this phase will pass quickly and one day you'll look at it as a meaningful experience (I know it sounds difficult now).

[Antonius]

Dear Mark,

A few years ago, I had a spirit or a ghost in my apartment. If you do a search on the the forum, you may be able to find the story. In short, I eventually learned that the man who had lived in my apartment for 30 years before me died in the apartment not long before I moved in. Although I'm not sure, my guess is that he didn't know that he was dead and therefore saw me as an intruder.

Paschal has already given you the solution that worked for me -- chanting to Guan Yin Bodhisattvah and Amitabha Buddha. Here is the advice Sifu gave me in an email, which may help you in your situation:

Dear Anthony,

There is a spirit in your house, but there is nothing to be afraid of. Literally, there are spirits everywhere, all the time.
This spirit is trying to make contact with you, despite your strong chi that actually repels spirits, because it wants to seek your help. You would acquire blessings if you can help this spirit, but there is no obligation to help if you find it is beyond your capability.

First, I wish to teach you a mantra that will give you calm and protection. The mantra is as follows:

"Namo Guan Shi Yin Bodh Satt"

Repeat this mantra in your heart, softly or aloud three times or nine times or continuously as many times as you wish.

The mantra means "Paying Homage to Bodhisattva Guan Shi Yin". Bodhisattva Guan Shi Yin is the Bodhisatta of Great Compassion, and is my personal Bodhisattva. A Bodhisattva is a very highly developed spiritual being, many levels above gods.

Irrespective of whether you perceive the needs or perform the help, tell the spirit that there is a beautiful, happy place called the Western Paradise where it may go to if it receives help from Amitabha Buddha by sincerely and repeatedly chanting the following mantra:

"Namo Amitabha Buddha"

Best regards,

Sifu

[Zhang Wuji]

It could be just clearing, but having gone through several bouts of cleansing, I am now better able to distinguish cleansing episodes from spirits disturbing my practice. I have written here about how my practice seemed to lead to nausea and giddiness during the Ghost Month. I also had episodes of sudden fear seizing me. I am not a superstitious person. Looking back, i am quite certain that it was not cleansing but rather the spirits around me, especially given the location where I was - in the wide open where there were offerings scattered all over the place.

You have not told us the times you practice but I would suggest a morning or late afternoon practice, when the yang energy is stronger. Perhaps you can let us know if this has an effect. It did for me.

I would not dismiss such sensations or feelings lightly as cleansing. Normally, for people in the West who do not believe in spirits like we do here, they are usually not affected. But you have become more spiritual after the qigong practice and it is most likely that you have become more attractive to spirits. As Sifu's reply to Antonius indicates, there is nothing to be afraid of. I was scared too when I had those sensations of cold and fear, but I prayed to God and felt the Holy Spirit flow into me, warming my very being.

[Mark Blohm]

Wuji,

I usually practice in the morning before 9AM and in the evening around midnight. I will practice earlier in the evening.

Siheng Anthony,

I will chant to Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Amitabha Buddha as you and Paschal have suggested.

Thank you,

Mark

[Mark Blohm]

Last night I was sitting in the room where I usually practice and I decided to read aloud this statement: "To anything present or anything that can understand me: there is a beautiful, happy place called the Western Paradise where you may go to if you recieve help fom Amitabha Buddha by sincerely and repeatedly chanting the follwing mantra: "Namo Amitabha Buddha". Since I haven't had any direct encounters I decided to address it to all things present.

Immediately after saying the instructions I experienced a cool/refreshing feeling in my dan tian that lasted for about one minute. Maybe this is a sign that it worked?

Thanks again for the advice,

Mark

[P. McSweeney]

Mark,

You should repeat this statement every night.
If you would like more details about Pure Land Buddhism contact me at admin@purelandbuddhism.com

Namo Amituofo

[Michael Udel]

Wonderful

It's really wonderful to see this great forum in action! Many people are helping someone with a problem even though the situaion sounds unusual to the average person. With everyone's help, the problem is quickly made better or solved.

I'm glad to see such generous people like Anthony sharing their experiences and spreading Sifu's knowledge.

Best,
Michael

[Mark Blohm]

It is wonderful. I feel so much calmer during practice now. Thank you all.

Mark

[Nessa]

Night time

It was wonderful to read all the replies on this thread, especially since I have had rather similar experiences during my chi kung practice.

I started chi kung over two years ago and not long after returning from Sifu's intensive chi kung cource I experienced (during my night time practice) a strong overwhelming feeling of fear. And a very disturbing presence behind my back.
This experience came back, ever so often and at the time I was a fresh beginner, but decided to just trying to relax and not to take too much notice. It was difficult, but got easier as I practiced.
I also sometimes saw (during day time practice) in chi flow awful grimaced faces in front of me and was rather shaken. But I always continued practising, nevertheless.
This happened always when I practiced at my house, or in the garden. Never when I went to the woods to practice. And looking back now, my own explanation to these recurring experiences of fear and a feeling of a precence(s) near me is that there were/are spirits in/near my house and somehow I was drawing them near me.
I was also a rather fearful person when I started practicing chi kung and part of those feelings of fear were cleansing. But there is a difference between these two feelings and you can distinguish them.

A few months ago Markus Kahila had asked Sifu Darryl about my experiences with these spirits and what I could do and Sifu Darryl gave advice that helped me alot. To smile from the heart. (Thank you, Darryl )
Just two weeks ago I was practicing inside, because it was raining, and during chi flow I felt a precence near me and 'saw' a man with a dark beard and hair. I felt he was trying to say something to me.
I got rather scared first, not knowing what to do. But then I relaxed and smiled from the heart. First time nothing happened, then I smiled again and the precence was gone.
Afterwards I felt sorry for him. And when reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha I gave the merits to all sentient beings and asked for all those who see or hear of that teaching to awaken their bodhi heart. I wished he would find the place he was destined to. I do this every morning and now, also every night.
I have a feeling that these recitations and practice may draw some spirits near. The wonderful thing is that now I know how to help them. And there is no need for fear.

For me, these experiences have been very important. I, as many of us, live in a culture in which spirits or other, for us, invisible beings are thought not to be real.
I feel very fortunate to be able to practice shaolin chi kung and kungfu, and most of all, to have read Sifu's book, Sukhavati and practice what the Buddha has taught.
To be able to live in peace with all that exists around us and help those I can.

With love,
Nessa

[Mark Blohm]

details

Is there an ideal time(before or after practice or some other time) to recite the mantra to Guan Yin? and is it neccesary to ask for something specific? or is just the mantra ok?

Mark

[P. McSweeney]

Dear Mark,

I can't say if there is an ideal time.
Perhaps you choose what is best for you.

For me I practice Buddha Recitation at specific times during the day.
The times I chose were the ones that suited me best. Of course the ultimate goal is to be mindful of the Buddha at every single moment.

Namo Amituofo

[Nessa]

I have understood that the difference whether you recite the mantras at day time or night time is relevant if you wish to inform those beings who might be listening or help them by excample telling of the Amitabha Buddha's Pure Land. (as said in the previous posts)
Sifu's book Sukhavati is an excellent source of information on this topic.

If you recite for your own spiritual cultivation, then I do not think the time you do it matters.
You can direct the merits you gain from reciting Namo Amitabha Buddhas or Bodhisattva Guan Yin's name, or other mantras, and direct them to whoever you wish. Including yourself.
You may ask Bodhisattva Guan Yin for peace of mind.
Or give merits from your recitation to all sentient beings.

I myself recite after chi kung in the morning and at night, before going to bed.

Hopefully this helps.

Nessa