Ray's Training Journal

[Ray]

Same day

Felt tired at around 4ish and practiced Lifting the sky in the park. Had a very gentle chi flow and felt enough energy to last me to seven. Then I had a meditation session with some friends for about fifteen minutes. During this session I enjoyed their collective energy field and kept smiling from the heart and reminding myself to enter a deeper chi kung state of mind. Now I feel charged with energy and was able to talk and make many new friends. Today has been extremely productive

[Ray]

1-19-07

All is going well. I took a brief rest after Lifting the Sky and realized that my body is unusally tired. As the day got started and I went outside and did things I felt less tired but judging from the lines underneath my eyes it would be wise to go to sleep earlier today. I am able to intentionally draw in positive energy from my surroundings now during Lifting the Sky and exhale negative energy out. My chi flow is smoother and the blockage that is being worked on has changed.

[Ray]

1-21-07
Fell back into some bad habits unfortunately due to a number of factors. Still I managed to practice Lifting the Sky afterwards and I felt happiness radiate and cleanse out my sadness. I know that as long as I continue to practice than the "root" still exists even if a leaf or two are cut off. I hope I can study hard today and not slack off and get distracted like yesterday. I plan to excel.

[Ray]

1-22-07

This morning's Lifting the Sky went well. The afternoon session went well as well but I am lacking mental clarity right now. Trying to discipline myself and keep good habits but its getting difficult.

^_^

work is going very well. I think the boss has been impressed so far with my performance.

Studies are going better, I am working hard but right now I am lacking mental clarity and will to work. I have to snap out of this. I'll try to meditate standing or sitting and maybe some Lifting the Sky.

We fall so we know how to stand up again

[ryanberg]

Congratulations on your new job, Ray. You're a very intelligent person, I'm sure you're doing just fine. I wonder are you studying at the same time to get a higher degree (you mention studying on top of your work)?

Good luck, and for your future only think good thoughts

Ryan

[Ray]

1-24-07

Hi Ryan,
Thanks for the kind words. Any success on my part is due to the great teachers and teachings that I have been fortunate enough to encounter. Right on I'm just working part time to get experience and after I graduate this year I'll probably have two part time or one full time and be a part time student taking classes that can help me when I apply to a good Chinese medicine school after I have saved up money.
As for training wise I am pretty sure I've improved in the sense that my chi flows are smoother and I assume I have more energy. Mental clarity seems to be improving in sudden bursts and fits that go up and down.
I've been praying to the five dhyani wisdom buddhas to help with my aims and objectives. As I am still trying to overcome some bad habits that are not in line with my objectives I try to pray to use my time wisely and wholesomely as well as spend my spare time cultivating myself. I get the impression that I can feel the energy around me sometimes although I don't know if it's my own environment or my own energy field. I am making it a point to smile from the heart while I practice even if I am just walking.

^_^

Yours truly,

Ray

[Ray]

Same Day

I needed somewhere to post after I just saw Sifu's Small and Big Universe Course

I'm still in shock. My mind is still unable to grasp what I just read. I still don't believe it.

Wow. 0_0

[Ray]

1-27-07

Training is going fairly well. I wrote down some more objectives to achieve my aim and I intend to kick some bad habits of mine and replace them with good ones. On the topic of bad habits, Sifu Anthony taught me to first create good habits and when strong, tackle the bad ones. I realize that when I weasel out of the good habits or am too lazy or distracted to maintain them, then I fall back to bad habits real easily. I guess part of it is trying to keep myself motivated from falling back into bad habits although it is hard.
On another side note, something neat I discovered is that I can feel my own chi flow during chi flow and feel the energy around during standing meditation. It's pretty neat although the feeling isn't very strong yet.

[ryanberg]

Hi Ray,

It sounds like things are going well for you. I've experienced the ups and downs in mental clarity as well. This is just a side affect of cleansing, I think.

Sifu Anthony's advice about first creating good habits is excellent. I have found that often times when you focus on positive new habits, bad ones will slowly fade away without "doing" anything about them.

Take it easy, bro.

Ryan

[Ray]

1-29-07

Hi Ryan,
Thanks for the post. I've come up with a neat method in which I count the number of times a day I manage to center myself and try to increase that number as time goes by. I was inspired by a Tibetan monk who put a dark mark on a wall for every bad thought he had. When I'm centered, or "shen collected" I'll have more energy and mental clarity as I get better which is my chief aim as of right now. I'm also making sure that I don't make too many aims, instead I have one aim and tinker with my objectives to meet that aim.

Yours,

Ray

Today so far: 68 times

[Ray]

same day

83 Times

I notice I am less focused when tired or anxious

[Ray]

1-30-07
I woke up without any clearing symptoms which to me is a sign that a blockage has finally cleared. Last night I felt suddenly unusually lonely, I think was because I spent some time trying to track down an old high school friend and was unable to locate her (people search is a ripoff T_T). At first I felt sluggish and lack the will to practice. Fortunately I remembered Sifu Innes message of taking responsibility for your own life and I managed to practice Lifting the Sky, I felt a lot of negative energy leave me and felt a bit better though not completely.
Today I feel unusally aggressive for some reason. I don't know what's going on. It's like I have to prove something to myself. I think I'll go practice some Standing Meditation.

Times I've centered myself: 15x

[Ray]

1-31-07

This morning went well. I had no cleansing symptoms and I only felt tired today so far after eating something overly cold on a cold day, my lungs felt more out of breath however I feel much better drinking something hot. ^_^

Number of times centered so far: 10x

Yesterday total: 44x

[Ray]

2-1-07

Things are going alright right now. I have a midterm coming up that I've done my best to study for (although sometimes I am lacking the will power to buckle down and make use of my time as I should). I feel some confusion in my heart too there are still some questions of my relationship with God that are leaving me in the dark, specifically how to be mindful of Him and how to get a clear communication with Him across in a daily and mundane way.

Yesterday's centered: 15x
Today my morning practice wasn't so hot and I still feel kind of out of it. I know that after I find the answers things will be better than before. I'm probably forcing myself too hard and overintellectualizing again.

^_^

Ray

[Ray]

2-2-07

Importance of finding joy in one's practice
I find that I have a problem of taking what I practice and know for granted. Being grateful and realizing how special it is to be able to practice and follow such arts along with being grateful to be here and be alive makes mindfulness and joy a lot easier.


Besides that things are going alright. Still fell back to some bad habits but I hope to be able to overcome them soon.

Yesterday centered: 20x

Today: 11x so far