Ray's Training Journal

[Ray]

12-30-06

Had a good morning session. Felt a layer of chi during pushing mountains, also felt a small pain during Three Circle but it was gone after I adjusted it. I think I'll switch my evening session back to Lifting the Sky instead of Sinew Met. I think I am rushing my training too much, trying to develop internal force. It's more of a issue of pride than anything else because a part of me wants to prove to my peers that I can be strong without lifting weights and what not.

My cold symptoms are almost entirely gone. Their is still some phlegm and blockages in the chest. I also confront my fears sometimes during chi flow, feeling suddenly afraid for no reason. After some time though it passes.

[Ray]

12-30-06

Hello everyone,
Several things have happened lately. Firstly, I've been practicing Standing Med more and recently experienced spiritual expansion where I felt like I filled up the whole room. Secondly, I've changed my changing regime a little bit again this time I'll practice more Lifting the Sky instead of Pushing Mountains. I realized that I've been too overeager to develop internal force and this feels like the right move to me. I will still practice Pushing Mountains, and definitely Three Circle stance on a regular basis, but for Pushing Mountains and Sinew Met I'll leave some space in-between.
I've been fortunate enough to have a very skilled authentic Chinese medicine practitioner share with me various principles. One of these principles involve following the timing of the natural world, and this applies to one's body as well. I have to apologize in advance though, there is a lot that he shared with me about this but it's hard to express everything effectively.
Anyway, I figure my immediate training goal is to have my chi flowing smoothly throughout my body. After that comes being able to achieve Sinew Met standard comfortably, and finally I'll focus more on Pushing Mts when that is achieved and Three Circle.

So:

Mornings:
Enter Calm
Eye exercises
Lifting the Sky
Mild Chi Flow
Three Circle
(Maybe some Spontaneous Tai Chi)
Walking Med.
Bigger Chi Flow
Standing Med / Prayer / Conclusion.

Afternoons (if allowed)

Lifting the Sky?

Evenings:

Carrying the Moon or Lifting the Sky
Or
Occasionally Sinew Met or Pushing Mts.

Thirdly, I practiced Seated Med in a chi kung state of mind and felt a slight sense of expansion, nothing near what happened last night but it doesn't really matter. I probably sat for about 45 minutes without much of a problem although I did start to sense some internal tension and emotions. If that happened I just opened my mouth slightly and let it pass.

Finally I'll continue to practice more Standing med when I have the chance even if it's only five minutes whenever I need to center myself or give myself more mental clarity.

[Ray]

1-2-07

This morning I had an especially good morning practice session. I noticed a significant improvement in my eyesight after the eye exercises, I was able to enter a deeper chi kung state of mind and a deep state of stillness in standing meditation. During spontaneous Tai chi techniques my whole body felt more like one movement during cloud hands. I swayed gently and enjoyed the swaying during three circle.

[Ray]

1-3-07

Last night I got into a little bit of an argument with my mom. It was mainly my fault and I reacted too strongly when mom mentioned some things that I'm a bit sensitive about. I apologized but still felt a lot of anger and resentment inside. I went to my room and practiced Lifting the Sky with the window open. I generated a strong flow and felt the negative energies rush out of me. Afterwards I just went straight to bed, suddenly feeling tired.
This morning I saw my parents and still felt a little awkward inside. I think I am still adjusting internally. After this I'm going to go outside for morning practice.

[Ray]

1-6-07

Dear everyone,
Things have gotten much better with my mother. I treated her respectfully and managed (somehow) to do everything she wanted me to do immediately rather than brush it off and stall. I've been able to take care of her better now, telling her what I think would be helpful for her to eat to combat her cold. It's worked ^^ and I think she feels better knowing I can take care of her. I also got her some facial cream as a gift. I have a great respect for French beauty products. I think the chemistry and stuff they add in there are kind of cool. Although I would never be caught dead using them ^^.
Oh about training. Recently there has been a lot of han qi (cold qi) outside and I've been reacting to that. I managed to drink some beef broth and some more nourishing foods as well as eat some pears to strengthen the lungs so I can push the han qi out. I practiced Lifting the Sky yesterday and didn't feel cold anymore, enjoyed chi flow as usual. This morning I did Carrying the Moon instead and enjoyed the chi flow as usual. I tried to coordinate my spontaneous Tai Chi movements (cloud hands) with my breathing. A little tricky, not quite sure how to do it well yet. Probably too tense.
Also after practice, felt filled with energy. Blockage in my lower left side still clearing. Frightful images appear occasionally in mind's eye but afterwards I feel less afraid and more confident.

[Ray]

1-8-07
Hello everyone,
Although I didn't get a good night's sleep this morning (kept waking up due to cleansing) my chi kung practice and prayer left me in a good mood and ready to go. Today is my first day at my new job and I know I will perform well. Morning practice was basically Lifting the Sky, a nap and then after I got to school a brief session of Three Circle and Cloud Hands.
I do feel a little bad in that at lunch I may have to eat alone, but it's alright I'll schedule some time to get together with friends so I won't feel too lonely. Things are going better with my mother, I plan to call her everyday so that it will make her feel like she is more a part of my life. Strangely, (although pretty obvious not that I think about) she listens to my advice more ever since I started listening to hers.

[Ray]

1-9-07

Last night felt exhausted after first day of work. I fell asleep woke up in the middle of the night due to cleansing, practiced Carrying the Moon but was still unable to fully sleep. I decided to practice Seated Meditation and chant the Medicine Buddha Mantra. It worked extremely well, I felt a lot better and a sense of warmth spread all over.
This morning I took a look at my class syllabus and gulped wondering how in the world I am going to pull this off with my work now. I was sure to raised this up during prayer. I practiced Pushing Mts, Three Circle, and some Cloud Hands. My breathing coordination with Cloud Hand seemed to have improved but I think my arm is still a bit too tense.

[Ray]

1-10-07
It's still winter and a lot of people are becomming sick. I, myself sometimes still feel tired and out-of-breath which hints to me that my lungs are a bit weak. I practiced Lifting the Sky this morniing and it helped tremendously. When I have time to sit down and really focus I'll work through what Johnny Sihing mentioned and set up a more structured plan.

[Ray]

Same Day

It's evening and I feel out of breath after work although energy wise still ok. I practiced a little bit of Lifting the Sky during break but I don't know how much it helped. This out of breath feeling suggests to me my lungs are weak and based on my own intuition and meager understanding of the Internal arts I figure I'll keep practicing Lifting the Sky and Cloud Hands. I am a bit impatient though and hope this out of breath, wheezing situation goes away soon. I sound like an old man!

[Ray]

1-11-07
I woke up this morning due to cleansing. After practice I felt tired and decided to lie down a bit. I didn't manage to sleep, still felt my body cleansing and adjusting. After getting back up I wrote down in my note book my aims and objectives. My aim was increased health and vitality and my objective to achieve this aim was to enter a deeper chi kung state of mind.
Current symptoms are cleansing at the lower left back (I think it's on the urinary bladder meridian but I'm not sure ^^) the left side of the head and right now I have a wheezing cough, occasional sneezing, and at night that sense of out of breath-ness still comes.

[Ray]

1-13-07

Last night I drove to my parent's home and after eating a brief dinner practiced Lifting the Sky, keeping in mind my aims and objectives, and slept from 5 to nine afterwards I got up and practiced Lifting the Sky again and had some trouble sleeping I experienced some joy shining out of me during chi flow and have already noticed my chi flow has improved. I woke up again at around six ish and noticed that today unlike the past few days there are no dark lines underneath my eyes. I feel a lot better now.
I plan to split up Eye exercises and Lifting the Sky Three Circle into two separate sessions because when I get up early in the morning I have trouble seeing the leaves since the sun hasn't really risen.

Prayer went well I just hope my family doesn't distract me too much today and I can finish my studies as planned today.

[Ray]

1-15-07

Last night I was a bit angry for no real good reason at all. After I practiced my evening session I ended up feeling incredibly sad and then after remembering the five elemental processes I decided to be grateful and started feeling a lot more joyful. My morning wake-ups due to cleansing has reduced its intensity instead I feel more lustful but whenever I feel lustful I just practice Lifting the Sky and it helps center me again. I figure the lustful stage is another cleansing stage at least my lower back blockage feels less severe. Three Circle Stance is coming along great. I also believe I am starting to feel more noticeable energy at the dantien but it comes and goes.

[Ray]

1-16-07

Drove straight to school from parent's home and suffered heavy traffic. Felt really sleepy and tired but around when the speed picked up my energy did too and now I feel fine. I am getting worried if I am forcing the visualization in Lifting the Sky too much. I plan to visualize more gently. I'm a little upset on how I am performing academically now that I have a job. My first attempt at raising my grade hasn't worked and now I've set new objectives to meet the same aim. I plan to perform well.

I also realize that when I feel lustful, practicing Lifting the Sky in bed works great.

[Ray]

1-17-07
This morning's Lifting the Sky went well. I slept at around 11 ish and woke up at Six. Although I didn't feel groggy it was cold and hard to make myself get out of bed. I have dark lines underneath my eyes and I did feel tired cooking breakfast and making lunch. I felt better after going outside. I've also found that my mental clarity has increased. My level of focus while steading has improven dramatically. I remember things easily and naturally I normally would forget. I'm more calm and have less random thoughts in my head. In fact, I am amazed that in my busy schedule I have found more time to study for my classes. I was really worried on how I will do academically now that I have a part time job. I've found that I am using time more efficiently by setting aims and objectives and that it is like the pleasant surprise of thinking you are broke only to find more money in your back pocket.

[Ray]

1-18-07

I got up again at sic to prepare for classes. Lifting the Sky went well and my chi flows are more smoother than before. I am pretty sure I have reached a deeper chi kung state of mind but I resolve to go deeper still. Energy wise I feel great and my eye sight is better after practice. I can hold Three Circle stance longer although I don't time myself. I;m taking better care of myself than last week and work doesn't tire me out anymore.