Ray's Training Journal

[Ray]

Fierce Tiger Crosses Stream & Golden Dragon

I blinked and I already missed it. Sighing, I pressed back on my VLC player to try catch that movement Sifu Anthony Korahais was performing for Fierce Tiger Crosses Stream. I felt a little embarrassed that he was already slowing down to demonstrate in the video clip and he was still too fast. I swear that I needed a clip series at molasses speed to learn some of the techniques. I checked again at the pictures, trying to figure out which arm I was using.
All that Tai Chi practice with friends was really paying off though. Even though my learning was still pretty hap hazard I could still tell some improvement. I guess it's because internal arts are internal arts. At the very least my experience and understanding of mind and energy had improved significantly. Still, I had a long way to go before I reached the heights of those monstrous super saiyans that are my seniors. I felt especially proud of myself tonight since I had managed to get a good portion of Fierce Tiger Crosses Stream. At the same time, my tai chi practice had deepened my meditative state of mind and energy flow. At the end, I would often feel energy cleansing at the base of my spine. Tonight, I felt ravenously hungry even though I already ate dinner.
I also discovered that I had become addicted to italian noodles from Trader Joe's. Those cheap one dollar packages made of durum wheat. One minute of boiling a little olive oil, salt, and pepper, and you had dinner for the tight budget student. The past few days had been pretty rough. I had no idea what astrological alignment had occurred but I was emotionally a little wacked. Trying to take all that cleansing as best I could I learned how powerful smiling from the heart and breathing really were, especially when used together. I was grateful for the learning experience, but I could really do without the insomnia-due to cleansing-evenings. 8:00 classes did not require an emotionally off kilter zombie Ray.
Going back to practice I discovered that what was really inspiring to me was the depth of the simple combat sequence sets. When I entered a chi flow and a meditative state of mind and used my intention, it was marvelous and I could really appreciate how someone ends up with more energy each time they practice "Black Tiger Steals Heart". It may be a small, bizarre arsenal I had now, but I felt pretty honored and proud nonetheless. In fact, I remembered recently during a fast I practiced "Golden Dragon" for fun. Up until that time I couldn't quite get the Dragon spirit right and didn't quite understand the dragon claw hand form. Then, that day it simply flowed and I stopped and looked at my hand-- just appreciating what happened.

[Ray]

When my father left the voice message he was typically brief. Something "urgent", but I had no idea if he meant "come back home now" urgent, or "I really need you to help mail this for me" urgent. It was bad news, someone we know had gotten some bad test results back: cancer.
I wasn't very close with this person, but this person had seen me grow up, and I felt pained at the thought of the kind of suffering this person was experiencing. This person was already quite old, and I doubted the typical cancer treatment was even a viable option.
I thought immediately of calling, but I had no idea what to say. When I finally did make the call, it was after a very long tai chi session. I couldn't even begin to describe how marvelous internal force is (even the small ounces that I possessed) and keeping my emotions in check I finally dialed the number on my cell phone.
No answer.
I hung up and dialed again.
I heard a very weak voice on the other line. "Hello?" A whimper.
My father had given me some advice on the phone call, but as is typical, it was pretty vague, and didn't really help. I don't think he really knew what to say either, but being my father he wanted to be able to give me some kind of advice. He was that kind of proud, caring man.
I explained that I had already heard the bad news, and said how much it saddened me. This person seemed to try real hard to cheer me up, uttering such things as "Don't worry, I'm so old already what do I have to be afraid of!" This person had always needed attention, needed to feel noticed. I don't know when I had realized that truth, but it was one of those truths that you just knew one day, like how you know you can count on a person for anything. I think my genuine sadness did bring some kind of joy but the voice at the other end was so weak--the will to live was already gone. I knew the power of thoughts, and my head lowered.
"Don't worry, just remember the kind things I did, forget the bad things." It was a common request. Remember me fondly, that's all I ask. Of course I would.
I felt a flash of insanity in my brain. I would somehow plan an elaborate plot to drag this person to Malaysia and attend an Intensive Chi Kung Course. But no, I was well aware of how small my voice was in influencing some people in my life and something as fantastic as chi and curing incurable diseases would simply bounce off their disbelief.
I hated that feeling, that feeling that I had a magic potion that could end so much misery, but even if I handed it on a silver platter with ribbons while on my knees begging them to take it, they would still refuse or simply
not invest themselves fully. I wish I could take ignorance, inflate it into something and then beat the living hell out of it.
There was coughing on the other line.
"Take care of yourself" I said.
"I need to go, coughing very badly."
"Get some rest."
The phone hung up and I really wanted to kick something, frustrated.
I ended up muttering a few prayers to Guan Yin and Green Tara to ease the transition for this person.

Some time passed and the sadness is gone now, but my heart feels like it's still sighing and hasn't stopped.

[Ray]

5-20-10_Essence of the Arts

I had the pleasure of watching Yuen Woo Ping's True Legend aka Beggar Su film today. The first half of the movie was pretty good, but the second half not so much. That and I was cracking Jay Chou jokes with a good friend of mine through most of the film. (Seriously, Jay Chou as god of martial arts? Why didn't they use the much more appropriate Gordon Liu who simply stood in the background and laughed?)
A relative of mine passed away recently, in fact I am glad because at the very least this person is no longer suffering. I had a strong wish to see this person free from suffering and it was during a meditation session that I felt a presence and a sense of reassurance. It was right after this feeling that I received a phone call that this person was getting ready to leave. Accordingly I used my mind to send blessings and make the transition as peaceful as possible.
To be able to do this, is in of itself a blessing. Thank you Sifu.
I think during the time when this person was sick and combined with the news that another close friend of mine contracted a brain tumor I actually ended up becoming quite upset at my inability to help them. Despondent, I sought out advice from a mentor of mine who taught yoga, and he told me that if I focused on what I did not have, it would grow bigger, while if I focused on what I did have, that too would grow bigger In other words, I needed to change my mind around and focus on what I could do, instead of what I could not.
This really empowered my spirit and ever since then I've been pretty active. I plan to get back and bring as much happiness as I can to the people I care about.
At the same time this really impacted my academic life and training. Finals week just finished and sometimes during that week I would find myself faced with a question I had honestly no clue how to answer. Instead of panicking I would force myself to focus on what I did know, and sometimes the answer would present itself. Similarly, instead of focusing on not having enough internal force, I simple appreciated that I actually possessed some internal force and for some reason it just became more and more apparent.
Heck, I could even reasonably imitate one of the drunken stances in True Warrior and feel chi and power flow to my fingers. Although I truly, truly have so much to learn that's pretty awesome just being able to do that.

I don't consider myself exemplary or high level in anyway, but practicing pushing mountain and tai chi and feeling that power radiate from my palms...I can only lift up my head and say:
"God, these arts are amazing."
Their vastness is simply majestic. This is my opinion only, but I've come to really realize that the essence of the arts is the same. Sure, the branches and leaves may be different but an internal art is an internal art.
I couldn't really explain it, just a gut instinct -- some essence that was always a part of you-- a treasure that is always with you.

Gratefully,

Ray

[Ray]

Chen Style Tai Chi Chuan

A month ago, I had the good fortune of learning Chen Style Tai Chi from a teacher in Guangzhou, China. I've been a fan of Chen Style for some time because of it's unique qualities and style of fa jing which was more visible than other styles of Tai Chi.
The class was held outside basically next to a small soccer field. I was very curious and excited to meet Master Zhang. I wanted to see if he was a wushu performer or someone who practiced tai chi as a martial art.
Master Zhang was short, stocky, and had a very outgoing personality, constantly tapping you on the leg or shoulder. He looked youthful but I could tell he must have come from a rough background growing up in Shandong. After hearing my interest and asking me the obligatory "What do you think is Tai Chi?" question he performed the Chen Style Old Frame First Set as a demonstration.
I've met some interesting characters in my life but his killing intent was probably the most palpable. The strength of the intention was very strong, showing his constant practice (This is all I do, he told me)
I could also tell from his constant shoulder tapping and leg slapping that he had some internal force.
As I expected, I was first taught one basic posture which I ended up practicing daily and still do. It's a marvelous technique and to be honest if all I learned was this one single movement, it would still be worth it.
The assistant instructor was a steel-eyed youth around my age who often asked me lots of fun questions about America. He was one of those hard exterior types who deep down inside was a really nice guy.

I've grown used to being asked fun questions, my favorite questions being:
Can one purchase garlic in America?
Do you have a gun back home?
Do you eat a lot of beef?

Lu, the assistant instructor, originally grew up as a wushu performer at one of the wushu academies near the Shaolin Temple in Henan. I spent the most time with him. He was an excellent forms teacher and I was able to learn very quickly under his structured teaching style and also with the skills Sifu transmitted to me.
As I practiced I found how much I really enjoyed this form set, it's flowing and twisting qualities are really powerful and elegant. Although I cannot say I have great experience with Dragon form, this would be what I imagine Dragon form to be like-- a spiraling serpent surrounded by heavenly clouds and crashing waves of awesome.
I was even lucky enough to see the Old Frame Second Form set (the combat nature is even more apparent than the First Form) which he taught to his senior students.
As is typical of me, I asked Master Zhang some combat application questions. Master Zhang was of the "Principles over Form" school of thought and did not fight using traditional tai chi forms. He was still a tricky fighter though, and I fondly remember him blocking a strike I threw at his face and countering with a strike at my face with his parrying hand and a low punch to my belly at the same time.
Thinking back, I may have been able to avoid it with a step back into a false leg and a hand sweep or even better, just move out of the way, but I was there to learn-- not to spar with the teacher.
Unfortunately, I was only able to learn about one fourth of the whole form during my brief visit. Although learning from videos is a very poor substitute I am lucky to have learned enough of the foundation from him to be able to pick up a good portion of the rest.
My gratitude to Sifu and Wahnam for giving me the ability to perform the form using chi flow versus dancing.

Continuing the world warrior path,

Ray

[Ray]

Jumping through Car Insurance Hoops

Dear Family,
On November 7th, 2010 my car was collided into while I was stopped at a red light. The impact pushed my car forward and ran my car into another vehicle in front. Dazed, I stepped out of my vehicle, already with my cell phone dialed "911".
I was always told that if a car accident ever occurred one was supposed to stay silent and simply exchange insurance information. Asking if someone was okay, implied liability. Deep down inside, this culture always bothered me-- how legalism got in the way of basic human compassion.
Fortunately, everyone involved in the accident was concerned at the basic level for human life. I asked if everyone was alright and saw that it was a family driving a green Honda Accord that had run into me. Shyly, one of them handed me back my license plate which had been blasted off by the impact.

I ended up suffering some mild whip lash from the accident. Moving my neck back to look up, I would experience a sharp pain. Three to four days of chi kung and kung fu later-- the pain was gone, by the time of Sifu's course I had completely forgotten about it. My car on the other hand didn't have 1500 year old ancient arts to heal it. The hood was jammed, the fog lights were dangling, the front and back bumped were both fairly dented. Skipping a day of school, I had the car looked over by a mechanic who gave me the green light since I was planning on driving six hours to learn the 18 Lohan Arts from Sifu.
As what happens sometimes, obstacles manifested. My car began smoking the next day after the inspection. Flashing my lights and praying, I managed to get my smoking vehicle to my mechanic who after some inspection informed me that the radiator had cracked and all the coolant had spilled out of my car. Even worse, the mechanic couldn't even touch the radiator because the front bumper had been pushed in -- jamming it.
Left in this precarious situation, I began to negotiate furiously with my insurance company to have my car towed to an auto body mechanic. After they finally gave in, I rented a car and, more determined than ever, I made my six hour trek to Sifu.

After returning from a Sifu powered weekend. I needed to get reimbursed for my car rental and have them pay the $500.00 deductible repair cost for my car which was still in the shop. I called the city police which directed me to the city highway patrol who directed me to the city police to get my identification verified so they could fax the front page of the police report to me.

Navigating the great maze of automated insurance phone service and several days of calling later I was informed by an insurance analyst that the insurance company had an insurance damage limit of $10,000.00 and that they would be unable to provide a rental car for me since they still needed to calculate the total damages of the three car collision.

"So basically, you're telling me that even though your party has admitted fault you will not cover my car rental or deductible?" I asked, incredulous.

"Yes. We'll have to--(insert complex procedure and lengthy process here)" The analyst replied.

"Is this fair? Ask yourself-- is this fair?" I actually felt my blood pressure rise up, all that yang energy was floating.

"No."

That's all I got ultimately.

I learned a lot from this experience. First, the brute force method-- at least for me-- isn't really that effective. Threatening legal action and punitive damages didn't really work with either the analyst or his supervisor. I figure this is because it's the reaction that most people immediately resort to. I realized I needed to do some more research and plan out my words better, this was a classic strong front, enter from the sides scenario.
All I got from bashing heads with an analyst was an even more miserable analyst (he didn't sound very happy when he picked up the phone to begin with) and an upset and frustrated Ray. Somewhere out there, Sun Tzu is smacking me in the back of the head.
Second, anger is a terrible force. Generally, I have above average energy, but that episode with the insurance agent left me exhausted and down. I had heard before that a moment of anger destroys a whole day's worth of energy. Now I completely believe it. After having lunch and taking a dazed nap I'm mostly recovered.

I am learning a lot through this ordeal. After recollecting my shen, I figure I will take this issue to court if I'm forced to pay for my deductible. Tomorrow I'm going to contact the Department of Insurance to learn about my rights.

At first this was really demoralizing, but I'm going to turn this into an empowering experience.

Smile from the heart,

Ray

[Ray]

Monkey Kung Fu vs Tai Chi

His footwork was amazing. One moment he was perched on one leg, then he was at a low stance, then his legs became a blur and he had already retreated away.
I was getting my first taste of Monkey Kung Fu.

After my car insurance drama had finally ended, I was practicing in the park around sunset when I noticed a Caucasian man and his Chinese girlfriend chatting on the road. As I finished my practice, brought the energy back to the dantien, he walked up to me and spoke:
“你会太极拳吗？“ (Do you know Tai Chi?)
I blinked. For some reason the switch from English to Chinese was taking a few seconds. This was the reason why I wasn't an interpreter for a living.
There we go, my tongue started to form the flowery syllables
"Yes." I replied eagerly in Mandarin, and asked him if he practiced any martial art.
"猴拳" (Monkey Kung Fu) He answered.
I felt my being tremble with excitement. Was it intimidation or excitement? Probably both.

We decided on a friendly exchange. His girlfriend sighed. She obviously had more important things than watching two kung fu enthusiasts have some geeky Shaw Brothers fun.
He showed me some famous monkey footwork. I was impressed because it reminded me of the Mantis style I learned from my father. It makes sense since Monkey kung fu was one of the styles integrated into Praying Mantis.
I tested out a punch and he responded by swerving his center line out of the way like a boxer. He would move on the balls of his feet nimbly lancing out with a punch or a knuckle tap like in drunken boxing.
He threw a slow strike of his own and I borrowed his strength accordingly. He seemed quite surprised as I ended up in close range and with good control over his movements.
I don't think he knew quite how to counter the borrowing I did. On the other hand, I knew I would have a hard time with the different levels or planes of attack he constantly used, switching from a high plane to a low plane, etc.

"I'm hungry." His girlfriend complained and like that our exchange of knowledge ended.

I waved them off and hoped to have a real sparring match with him next time. I would have to be careful. Monkeys were dangerous after all.

[Ray]

The Secret to Public Speaking

All eyes were fixed on me. I was telling a story. A story of how I had met my first Tai Chi master in Beijing.
I suppose it was my first step into this world. This world that seems supernatural and superhuman.

Now I was having an opportunity to share this world with other people.

A friend of mine named Aaron had asked me if I could do him a huge favor.
It ended up that he needed a guest speaker to come to his class for him to perform consecutive interpreting into Japanese.
I agreed and wanted to choose a topic that I needed to do practically no amount of research and preparation for.

Standing there, my heart was pounding. Once I got started though, it felt natural and graceful.

I soon realized The Secret. To be a good public speaker, you simply had to enjoy and know what you are talking about. All those assignments
speaking in front of people felt useless. I stumbled my way over presentations about dinosaur anatomy. But Tai Chi was different.

Tai Chi was a treasure that taught me how to live.

[Maxime]

Dear Brother,

I soon realized The Secret. To be a good public speaker, you simply had to enjoy and know what you are talking about. All those assignments speaking in front of people felt useless.

Congratulations! And this secret reveals more and more skills as you keep on walking and improving on the path of life.

Best,

Maxime

[Ray]

Being Rooted in the Flow of Life


1. Lately as my Tai Chi practice has grown I’ve realized myself breathing from the dan tian more and more. The breath and the meditation practices I’ve learned in conjunction are some of the most powerful and dependable tools I’ve ever come across. Sometimes, I merely focus on breathing in and out to center a turbid and confused mind. Other times I draw in a quick shot of cosmic energy or exhale and send blessings throughout time and space.

This sense of rootedness has extended down to the soles of my feet. I now know the wonders of being able to breathe with the feet and feel the energy channel down to the earth. In some other schools of chi kung and martial arts that I’ve encountered, I was taught to draw in earth energy, but I was confused since raw earth energy is actually detrimental to health. It was only after practicing the 18 Lohan Arts that I realized the energy drawn in was not exactly earth energy, but a plane of cosmic energy over the earth. The key was to always exhale the energy down through the feet to maintain the proper direction of flow.

2. Keeping the intention at the feet has other benefits, among them lowering one’s blood pressure if it is too high. Furthermore, I found my footwork improved tremendously. Fortunately, my inflated ego was quickly deflated when one of my Tai Chi seniors quickly overwhelmed me with a vicious combo during sparring.

I’ve also found as my spirit is rooted and my mind is collected, how to expand your spirit during work and play. It feels uncanny, like I can feel everything happening around me. Of course, this expansion is a natural result so I don’t force it. Often times, the intention and breath just settle at the dan tian.

3. Finally, I’ve noticed a change in my voice and how I talk. I sound more powerful and confident. I mindfully listen to my voice while speaking to keep myself centered and maintain a logical train of thought. I believe the voice is one of the best weapons we have as warriors. Most conflicts start out as verbal disputes. Most attacks nowadays are verbal attacks. Having a voice that is confident and full of intention is an excellent self-defense and prevention tool. It is no mistake that one of the components of the Eightfold Path is “Right Speech”.

Happy Training,
Ray Chang