Ray's Training Journal

[Ray]

Courage and Confidence: Erecting a Spiritual Center

Dear family,
The past few days have seemed a bit turbulent with more frustrations, fears, and insecurities I was forced to confront and work through. On the up side, my practice in stance training is picking up again, and become more and more reliant on the Divine in order to quell the storms that surface both internally and externally.
Stages of limbo or confusion can be very frustrating, especially for a young person when you don't know where to go or what to do with your life. Or sometimes you do have an aim and objective set up, but walking that path feels treacherous and uncertain. Sometimes you may feel frustrated when you don't receive something you need, whether its money, emotional support, or just an opportunity.
I find that a spiritual center, or entering a "quiet" state of mind with just you and the Divine really helps in situations like these. It helps block out all the noise, all the stress and anxiety, fear and anger around you. It helps dull that blade of anger and restore that mental clarity.
Recently during an evening practice session I stayed in standing meditation longer than usual. There were a lot of things I was afraid of losing, and regrets of the past but all that leaves when you just focus on the Divine. It's as if you grope around a large field for an apple before finally returning to the apple tree.
More and more, I've come to the conclusion that if you seek security and well being entirely on the external world you'll never have any true sense of inner peace. People always think that if I have "A" I'll be happy, whether "A" is a better job, a better looking body, more money, the perfect partner, etc.
For me, after that standing meditation session and subsequent sessions afterward, I realized that a part of me that was seeking "A" was tired and burnt out; by returning to that Spiritual Center, I felt Grace pull me back together again.
Otherwise, like most people, you end up chasing after momentary "hits" of happiness inbetween the long stretches of stress, fear, anxiety, and planning. It's a shame that so many people think spirituality is a fluke or a sham. The practice makes you feel like a whole person: a puzzle with the missing pieces gradually being filled in.

[Ray]

Hello family,
I wanted to post the following link to some scientific research on luck that help confirm that thoughts do create reality.

http://www.richardwiseman.com/resources/The_Luck_Factor.pdf

I was feeling a little confused when I stumbled on this, it really made my day ^_^

Hands clasped,

Ray

[Ray]

Courage and Confidence: Daily Perseverance

Dear Family,
I've finally managed to stick to my morning routine at 5:00 in the morning to take advantage of the energy at that time. I've found though, that I have a better training experience indoors with the window open then outside in the cold.
Daily perseverance is an agenda I've been focusing on recently, trying to refine my actions, speech, and thoughts into always being something beneficial and positive. The result of this is a day to day, moment by moment meditation, constantly letting go of harmful thoughts and generating good ones, being as charitable as you can in words and actions. Ideally, this is part of truly living Shaolin.
I had a confrontation with a friend recently, who blamed me for not helping him out with a bad financial issue in time. I had probably a hundred legitimate reasons why I didn't manage to help him out as he wanted, and as he was saying some pretty harsh words, and I had a feeling like I was being falsely accused, it was a real challenge to breathe out and offer all the negative thoughts coming up to the Divine.
I could have given him a logical argument that would make Plato weep and it wouldn't have mattered. I've found that sometimes it's not about who's right and who's wrong. Fortunately, in this case I managed to stay quiet and when the opportunity came we began to discuss solutions instead of heaping blame. I wasn't being a punching bag, but if I had given into anger I am sure that it would have only made things worse. It wasn't easy though, I felt my chest getting gouged with an ice cream scooper.
In our training daily perseverance is essential as well. Even if we don't have everything perfect-- our bow and arrow stance isn't quite right, our arrow step isn't flowing, our black tiger lacks power...the little steps all accumilate. As usual it's an up and down journey, one that we try to walk with a smile on our faces.

Shaolin Salute,

Ray

[Ray]

Courage and Confidence: Epic Kung Fu Moments

Dear Family,
As the result of the improvement I have been experiencing with my kung fu training I wanted to share some of my favorite "Epic Kung Fu Moments" that have happened to me fairly recently:

The Invincible Monkey Technique
Occasionally when my father is in the right mood, we sometimes engage in some fun play sparring. My dad has definitely a lot more sparring experience than I do and I find that I have a hard time finding any openings when I practice with him. If I go into left side mode, he always changes his stance accordingly so there are no easy openings for me to take advantage of. During one of our friendly engagements, I used "Hang a Golden Star" and was happy to see it catch my dad by surprise.
Haha, I thought, didn't expect to see thisdid you?
So all my dad did to counter was lean back a little...and I missed
Of course, my strike forced my Dad to use his Ultimate Attack "The Invincible Monkey Move". I call it "The Invincible Monkey Move" because the attack actually has the word Monkey in it, I think. (I'm very bad with names, especially when my dad yells the name triumphantly before nailing me with it, ala Huang Fei Hong)
Anyway, "The Invincible Monkey Move" is a counter to my counter, and with some good timing he has his fist at the back of my head by the time I nullified his first strike with a baby Tiger Claw.
So that time, dad decided it was time to use his signature strike again and I found myself at his mercy for the nth time. Then to make my defeat certain he decided to use his favorite finishing move "Monkey Steals Peaches" and I hastily initiated a strategic retreat, since I don't want my Peaches stolen.
#$%$#$ Monkeys

Floor Wet Use Caution
One day while eating at a restaurant I decided to make a run to the restroom. Making a way to the end of the hallway I suddenly felt my front foot slip because the whole tile floor was wet. Entering "Epic Kung Fu" mode, I sank into a false leg stance and actually had my back leg slide on the floor a few inches. I made my way to the restroom door successfully with extreme caution. I guess if anything, stance training allows you to traverse dangerous terrain relatively safely.

Happy training,

Ray

[Andrew R]

I hastily initiated a strategic retreat, since I don't want my Peaches stolen.

Myes, this would be quite deleterious.

#$%$#$ Monkeys

lol

Happy Tile Surfing,
Andrew

[Ray]

Courage and Confidence: Instantaneous Change

Dear Family,
Recently, while volunteering at a Buddhist temple, I went to the bookstore to disarm the alarm and accidentally dialed in the wrong passcode. The alarm began ringing shrilly in my ears for a few seconds while I checked the correct passcode again, realized I had rearranged some numbers in my head by accident, and frantically dialed it in.
I stood there, my heart beating for a few minutes, wondering if the police were going to come and if I would have explain everything with embarassment. Some words that Sifu said arose in my mind:

If you go to restaurant A and find out that it is closed, don't sit there and start telling yourself that you are so stupid, and that you're no good.
Instead, just turn around and go to restaurant B.

(may not be exact words)

I remembered that the principle of instananeous change also included letting go of one's past mistakes. So I began to go about my daily business preparing things, and it was later on that I discovered I had managed to press in the correct code in time before the police had to be notified.

We all have regrets, and many of us may be lamenting wasted years or bad decisions. Applying the principle of instanteous change requires a lot of confidence and courage because often times its very easy to keep blaming ourselves.

For a lot of us, we still carry some violence in our hearts, we may see a lot of enemies in the workplace, or even in our own families. Sometimes we direct a lot of violence to ourselves, destroying our self-esteem, or punishing ourselves if we don't meet our goals by training recklessly.

Applying skillful instanteous change can be an antidote: transforming a negative thought into a positive one, simply living life with mistakes while making the corrections.

To paraphase the Platform Sutra:

Do not think of the past
Always think of the future
When thinking, always think good thoughts

Hands clasped,

Ray

[Ray]

Courage and Confidence: Growth

A poem:

Standing on another shore
With so much time that has passed
I wonder what it would be like if you saw me now
"很好,很好" you might say, with that fatherly tone you always had.

One of the few teachers that would actually delight in his student's progress.
These rooted feet and flowing limbs belong to you, for you laid the foundation
My heart is heavy that you may not see the fine fruit that is being grown

Whatever mountain peak I end up on, I wish so dearly that your eyes could see me spar amongst the eagles,
And smile, heart at ease, that you had done so well as a teacher and mentor.

[AlexBaranosky]

Hey Ray,

I was just thinking of you. I am a poet, and I like your poem.

Curious, what do those characters mean?

[Ray]

Hi Alex,

Thank you for your kind words. The characters mean "very good"

Take care and hopefully you'll share your poetry too on the forum.

Best,

Ray

[Ray]

Courage and Confidence: Progress

Dear Family,
While cleaning some things I happened upon an old sheet of paper I had scribbled my aims and objectives on two years ago. Among the things I had written down was being able to hike for an hour with little strain, having a better chi flow, and being able to handle the "standard" version of Sinew Metamorphosis. I found it a little ironic in that forgetting about my old aims and objectives and using correct method and dilligence I had ended up achieving them anyways!
Although my training has achieved some fruition lately I've been left pondering about my relationships with the people around me. Having moved around a lot and been to many places a part of me felt sad that I was unable to keep in touch with so many of the wonderful people that I had met and learned from. However I soon realized that it didn't matter and that even though I may be physically alone at times, the growth and inspiration that I had experienced being with them was still very much a part of me. Whether it was the tremendous kindness and love that a devout Tibetan Buddhist couple had shown me or the lessons in organization and planning that a computer programmer had given me the growth and who I was now made our relationships still feel alive and meaningful even if there was a distance between us.
Often times people may yearn to always be surrounded by family and friends, but circumstances for one reason or another may leave you experiencing life with few to share it with. Being able to express your thoughts and feelings to others is a great blessing, and being able to cherish God's gifts silently is also one as well.

I hope everyone who reads this realize they've always been surrounded by an ocean of blessings.

Hands clasped,

Ray

[Ray]

Personal Reminder

This has been posted else where already, but Mark Sihing's words really resonated with me:

Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?.....for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. 33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. 34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.

[Ray]

Courage and Confidence: Kiddie Fast

Dear family,
I hope all of you are doing well. A few years ago I became interested in the positive benefits of fasting and the first one I tried was a two day water only fast that felt quite rigorous and was a strong cleansing experience. Ever since then I've preferred to do what I call "kiddie fasts" over a weekend with no solid meals and drinking tea,water,ginger concoction etc.
My most recent kiddie fast was a terrific experience even though I had to break it prematurely in the second evening because my body told me I needed something warm to eat (Just so you know, oatmeal with fresh chicken stock tastes really, really good). Having fasted several times in the past I was used to the sudden generous allotment of time I had since one of the things fasting makes you realize is how much time we spend preparing food and eating.
Super mental clarity isn't always guaranteed though and this fast was more of a cleansing fast for me so I felt all sorts of muck coming forth. I ended up not getting much sleep either as my body was adjusting constantly. As usual I just cleared my mind and enjoyed the presence of the present moment.
The next morning after my oatmeal dinner I found myself experiencing a lot of old childhood angers and frustrations. At first they were difficult to deal with and I told myself that if I was unable to forgive a person I would try not to desire their harm while constantly offering all these negative thoughts to the Divine.
Around 5:00 in the morning I managed to get up (I've been trying to get up at that time for a while now) and had a good morning meditation. My morning horse stance was stiffer than usual. However after chi flow and doing my daily routine, my energy, which was flagging last night because of cleansing had returned abundantly and I felt a great sense of freedom as I was able to send forgiveness and love to events of the past. My energy level and productivity for the day was also a lot higher and I found myself much more mentally adept at being comfortable with being uncomfortable.

It doesn't really matter to me if I feel the same way tomorrow or if I run into more cleansing. I am glad to be experiencing life and happy to be alive.

I'm positive my evening practice tonight will be a joy to savor.

With Shaolin Salute,

Ray

[Ray]

Poem on struggling

Climbing the high mountain
My fingers bleed
I wonder how much longer until I can believe in my own strength?
Lofty clouds hover overhead still so far away

These skinny arms still can't lift the Guan Dao
Eyes with tears, 我这么能甘心?

[Ray]

Courage and Confidence: Dusting yourself off

Dear Family,
After a session or two of chi kung I do feel a bit better now. These past few days have been pretty interesting and I found myself tested often. I am still a bit confused and I am returning to my foundation, standing up again and dusting myself off. For a moment my self-confidence was a bit shaken but it's not anything that I cannot overcome. It feels like such a long road ahead, and even though I know that I've made progress it can be hard to see sometimes.

Well, walking forward has become second nature to me.

Smile from the heart,

Ray

[Ray]

Enjoy your Practice

Dear Family,
I've managed to overcome a recent training block that I have been stumbling over recently. Practicing alone, it is very easy to become frustrated or confused when one discovers a blockage that was previously not there, or their "Black Tiger Steals Heart" isn't at Grandmaster level. At first, I was pushing myself too hard and felt myself deviate when I suddenly rediscovered Sifu's important message: " Stop worrying, Stop Intellectualizing, Enjoy your practice."

I realized it applied to kung fu as well.

When my mind stopped tensing, everything began to become so much more natural again. As it is with all our lives, other situations seemed to amplify my confusion and I would lose focus. I had to take a step back, return to basics, and ask the way again.
I realized that I didn't need to be so hard on myself if my bow stance or Black Tiger isn't at Grandmaster level. I expect myself to continue learning and continue training, knowing very well that all the folds in the cloth will be ironed out eventually. My thoughts may drift to uncertainties or regrets but I pull them back and remember that I am complete, and free. Keeping the mind focused on virtuous objects throughout the day is one of my goals, and although some days I find my mind particularly clouded, or my body stiff I try to persevere.

Relax, let go, smile from the heart.