The Art of Happiness

[Juan Parra]

tea and paper cranes

Folding paper cranes thinking of nothing...what else? Maybe a nice cup of tea looking at the sky.

[Erica]

Dear Sifu Juan Parra,

And your kind words have in turn made me smile. Thank you.

I hope to see you in our Spanish forum pages too.

Haha, I've got a lot of studying to do in that case! But I do hope one day to learn Spanish, so when I do I'll be happy to join you on the Spanish forum.

Happy posting,
Erica

[Erica]

Good news, bad news, who can say?

A quote from Way of the Peaceful Warrior, one of my favorite books:


Once, there was an old man who lived in a village. He had lived a good life, and had been very loyal to the chief. In appreciation for all he had contributed to the life of the village, one day the chief of the village gives him a horse, a prize stallion. The neighbors gather round: “Such good news!” they proclaim. The old man replies: Good news, bad news—who can say?

The next day, the prize horse runs away. The neighbors gather round: “Such bad news!” they proclaim. The old man replies: Good news, bad news—who can say?

The next day, the horse returns, bringing with him a whole herd of beautiful, wild horses. The neighbors gather round: “Such good news!” they proclaim. The old man replies: Good news, bad news—who can say?

The next day, when the old man’s young son tries to tame the biggest and most beautiful wild horse, he is thrown and breaks his leg in several places. The neighbors gather round: “Such bad news!” they proclaim. The old man replies: Good news, bad news—who can say?

The next day, the army of a powerful War Lord marches through the village, pressing all the young men in the village into service. They march off to a bloody battle from which none are expected to return. Only the young son of the old man is spared, because of his broken leg. The neighbors gather round: “Such good news!” they proclaim. The old man replies: Good news, bad news—who can say?



This, to me, is happiness.

Erica

[Chiahua]

Interesting, do you mean happy because his son was spared?

[Erica]

Greetings!

My apologies if I was unclear in my last statement.

I do not mean to say that I am happy because his son was spared. Instead, I mean to suggest that the old man in the story has a deep understanding of happiness.

Knowing that happiness does not come from external events, he chooses not to place labels on things that happen around him. When his neighbors say "such good news!" or "such bad news!" he shrugs off the labels and continues living life. His neighbors depend on "good" things to feel happy, and when "bad" things happen they suddenly feel bad. Their emotions are pulled around every which way whenever something happens in the world.

But the old man has freed himself of this process of labeling things "good" and "bad", which means that he can be happy regardless of whatever happens around him.

What a wonderful, noble way to live.


I hope this clarifies what I meant.

Erica

[Andrea]

Isn't he beyond "being happy" - without expectation - simply "being".

[Chiahua]

Isn't he beyond "being happy"

I would agree with this statement. "Happiness" in the context of the story might imply being tied to the outcome of events, or the phenomenal world.

[Darryl]

Isn't he beyond "being happy"

Or his default state of being is happiness

tied to ... the phenomenal world

First be happy


I've heard several interpretations of this story and I enjoyed Erica's immensely

[Erica]

Or his default state of being is happiness

My sentiments exactly!



I'd like to pose a question to all:

Isn't he beyond "being happy" - without expectation - simply "being".

Is there a difference?


Erica

[Chiahua]

I like the interpretation too, though I can't keep my sophistry suppressed, so just for fun:
Sifu sometimes likes so categorically define terms for convenience of discussion, so I'll try to do the same.
Happiness, I generally tend to mean the "opposite of unhappiness". It's like in daoism, you have yin and yang--I understand that for "happiness" to exist, you must also have "unhappiness".

Isn't he beyond "being happy" - without expectation - simply "being".

Is there a difference?

To my (dualistic ) understanding, there would be. When you have attained "suchness" or "just being", I think happiness then stops. So does unhappiness.
When I'm in meditation, and I get it right, I do enter a state that could be termed happiness. But it's a positive emotion that is not conditional on any sort of circumstance (apart from chi-kung). Sifu and others have termed it "subtle joy", or "spiritual bliss". While stance training, Sifu says you start to experience "subtle joys" during stance training--imagine, an exercise that would be used as a punishment in other martial arts schools, a source of joy for us! Or when some people wretch during chi-flow, they enjoy it on an odd level!
But this feeling is different from the happiness I get when I've gotten good grades on an exam, or when I've made a particularly good dish. These feelings are mediated by our judgments of a situation. In psychopathology you do have people with "blunted affect"--they cannot feel emotion. Yet I doubt they exhibit qualities in someone accomplished at smiling from the heart.


Mind you, I don't necessarily disagree with your interpretation. When I first read the story, I just took the old man to be stoical, just going along at his own pace. He might not have been happy or sad. But I like the interpretation that he is "happy", and that he is just glad to be alive in spite of the events surrounding him.

Best,
Chia-Hua

Apologies for the long post

[Erica]

Dear Chia-Hua,

I enjoyed reading your post.

When I'm in meditation, and I get it right, I do enter a state that could be termed happiness. But it's a positive emotion that is not conditional on any sort of circumstance (apart from chi-kung). Sifu and others have termed it "subtle joy", or "spiritual bliss". While stance training, Sifu says you start to experience "subtle joys" during stance training--imagine, an exercise that would be used as a punishment in other martial arts schools, a source of joy for us!

Indeed! This brings me much joy as well. I'm also glad to hear that you are able to enjoy such a wonderful state during your meditation.

It seems like the way you interpret the word "happiness" is what I would call "conditional happiness". Thank you for explaining your definition of the term for me, it allowed me to clearly understand what you were saying.

In which case, I would agree that there is indeed a difference between being "conditionally happy" and simply "being".

With gratitude,
Erica

[Chiahua]

After reading tha post, I should have clarified—if I get it right, if I successfully shut my monkey mind up so in a way it is conditional.

[Chiahua]

...returning to those exercises is returning to the essence of life, which is peace, calmness, joy and freedom, happiness. It is returning to the Essential.

I just ran across this post. Sihing thank you for the gentle reminder!

[Erica]

Greetings everyone!

I'd like to thank Chiahua for bringing this thread back to life. I had nearly forgotten all about it until Chiahua's kind post brought my attention here.

I just started to look back through all the wonderful posts that the Shaolin family made here. I thank each and every person who has taken the time to share their happiness on this thread.

Then I came across Sifu Joko's post:

Dear all,

Whenever you find happiness, share with others; by sharing it, then you can have more.

Joko

...and it inspired me to make a post.


Looking back on what I wrote on this thread over a year ago, I noticed that I often spoke as if I were an expert on happiness.

Recent events in my life have gently shown me how very little I understood happiness, and how very much I can learn about happiness from here forth.

So, I return to this thread with a new attitude. I come here now with an open heart, with the desire to learn from all the people who might be kind enough to share something with me.

If you might have something to post here, I will be most grateful for the learning opportunity, and it would bring me much happiness.

Warm wishes to all,
Erica

[parrapiti]

In my mother language (Spanish) there is a clear difference between happines, joy and bliss (alegría, felicidad y plenitud). They all sound similar and are usually interchanged unconsciously in a simple sentence. But they are very different, indeed.

Is there difference between happiness, joy and bliss in English?

Piti